Blog post #8

One major change I’m making to my paper is really analyzing the underlying theme of the pancakes, or the event, as a whole is actually something more than free food. Rachael Hoy brought this to my attention during our conference. I will be making this change because it is a big part of my argument and I neglected it in my old paper.  Breaking it off to its own separate paragraph will not only increase my word count, which is at 2,000, it will also strength my overall argument of the underlying theme.

            Another major change I will be making to my paper is adding some transitions that had been left out. This was brought to my attention multiple ways, my peer, professor, and noticing it myself. I will be making this change because without good transitions even an otherwise great paper sound amateur. With good transitions the flow of the paper is greatly increased , and it is easier to see the movement from one idea to another. This change will help the flow of my paper where it is confusing because I just jump from one idea to another.

            Something that needed changing in my old paper was my thesis statement. This was brought to my attention by my professor, Rachael Hoy, my thesis statement is only one sentence. Which is not wrong if you are able to fit it in one sentence, which I thought must be done. After I learned I was able to actually draw out my thesis statement into multiple sentences, almost a paragraph, I am able to articulate my meaning in a much superior fashion. This helps the overall set up of my paper as a whole.